General Trivia - 1

Q: How do you make good use of a sharp wit?
A: Use it to chop vegetables.

John Lennon’s imagination too much for the real world says expert analysts

John Lennon mixes surrealism and abstract post-modernism with a big roll of joint to come up with the greatest philosophy of all times, which unfortunately can only be imagined and not implied in real life

MUSSISSIPPI, MS – When reports of John Lennon’s studies into the metaphysical feeling of oneness first surfaced it caused not the slightest flurry. According to the study, there IS a way to achieve true singular existence. To achieve this state, he instructs that every individual being in this world needs to go through the 3 I Steps or the 3 Imagination Steps.

The first I Step involves applying the imaginative power of the mind to erase the existence of a Heaven. Due to the inter-dependant relationship between Hell and Heaven, the non-existence of  Heaven would directly imply the non-existence of Hell which would possibly have serious ramifications with respect to relocation for the thousands of Nazis currently residing there.  Mr. Lennon has also given instructions to live for today, a decision which was vehemently opposed by the Prince who is still bringing out lame records like its still the fucking 1960s.

The second I Step involves applying the same imaginative power into erasing boundaries and advises people to stop killing or dying. This thought was rubbished by the US Congress who claims that without clearly defined boundaries, it would be impossible for its Presidents to randomly declare war on countries. This view was shared by war-lords, terrorists and cartographers alike.

The third I Step focuses on eradicating hunger and greed and implementing the idea of a global family. But by now, the experts reviewing the report saw stains of smashed weed on the pages which caused them to let out a huge sigh of relief and stereotyped Mr. Lennon as being just another dreamer.

A red-faced John Lennon retaliated by accusing everyone in this world of being a dreamer or a dreamer in the making and ran out of the expert panel discussion straight upto a very non-imaginative spot at the top of the charts.

Bob Dylan wishes to know how YOU are feeling Rolling Like A Stone

Bob Dylan’s  ineptitude to Rock is causing everyone to Roll in their graves.

MUSHINGTON, NY – Bob Dylan, considered by approximately 7 people in the world as the greatest song-writer ever, has come out in public to comment on your current plight. As he recalls, once upon a time you used to dress very fine and fling dimes at bums in the street. Even though forecasts predicted a fall for you in the future, you let your pride blind yourself and you did not heed ear to them. Reports indicate that you went so far as to mock at everyone who used to just hang about.

But under the present conditions, you seem to limit your audible levels to a bare minimum and even scrounge for the next meal. Dylan has repeatedly enquired how it feels to be homeless and completely unknown; a feeling he compares to that of being like a piece of hard solid that is undergoing linear motion supported by rolling friction.

According to claims raised by Dylan, despite having attended the finest schools you are still not aware of how to live on the street;  which he attributes to the incompetent syllabus formulated by the school. Besides these allegations, Dylan has also explicitly mentioned in the chargesheet that you now make deals with mysterious tramps with hollow eyes, breaking all previous promises made to self of never compromising with mysterious tramps with hollow eyes.

A little sympathy was extended across to you when Dylan narrated about how the siamese cat carrying, chrome horse riding diplomat stole everything from you. But this didn’t stop him from reminding you of the cruelty you showed towards jugglers and clowns.

The continuous accusations finally seemed to get the better of Dylan who then started muttering some incomprehensible ramble about how invisible princesses drinking Napolean generally conceal no secrets and how they wouldn’t refuse if you make a move. Mr. Dylan then soon rolled to the top of the charts Like A Rolling Stone.