Aliaune Badara Akon Thiam

AKON? Yeh Kaun?

If God was a DJ

Unedited text messaging thread

[Unknown Number] hey swatha pls we wnt one song of JUSTIN BEIBER..

[Me] Why just one song, please have 2 JB songs!

[Unknown Number] oh thnk's!!

[Unknown Number] thnkx buddy vry vry thnx

[Me] Sorry to break your heart kid. But this is not radio indigo. You got the wrong number. But stay tuned. They will play it sooner or later

[Unknown Number] hey it's k.. the song is goin on..

[Unknown Number] hey pls one more sng of j.b pls... baby feat ludachris..

[Unknown Number] hey pls one more im requesting u...

[Me] Unfortunately, our servers have crashed and we lost all copies of JB songs. Also I just got fired. So you're gonna have to buy the album to listen to songs. Sry

[Unknown Number] k..wer cn i get the album songs..

[Me] You don't get it in India anymore. An official law has made the sale of JB albums illegal. You would probably need to immigrate to cambodia to get a copy

[Unknown Number] k..thnx...

[Unknown Number] hey pls one song of JB pls tht't enough for me...

[Me] I have just been caught by the Interpol and am in jail without access to our systems. I'm looking for someone to bail me out.

[Unknown Number] hey dnt joke..

[Unknown Number] hi wat hppnd?

Marvin Gaye reveals that he has absolutely no fuckin' idea as to what's happening around him

The stuff that's happening around the world has a sober Marvin Gaye absolutely dumb-founded

Muami, FL: Returning to his parent's home after a highly successful tour Marvin Gaye was shockingly surprised to realize that he has absolutely no idea as to what was going on around him.

News of Marvin's complete ignorance of things happening around him was first reported by his mother, to whom he kept opining that there were far too many of her crying. When his brother joined in to offer some insight into his condition, Marvin declared that there were far too many of him dying and suggested that a solution be found to bring some lovin' there today, a proposal which found favour with a lot many of his groupies.

Realising that neither his mother nor his brother were willing to sympathise with his ideas, he approached his father who responded with an absolute stony silence. Marvin was persistent in his urges to move from an escalation-war model to a let's-all-just-fuckin'-love-each-other model which he strongly believes can resolve one of the major problems faced by the world today - hate.

Protestors to Marvin's condition soon took to the streets holding demonstrations right outside his house using picket signs. A helpless Marvin tried to calm the crowd by offering peace talks instead of the treatment that was being meted out to him which he classified as being outright brutal punishment.

While someone tries to figure out what was going on, Marvin suggested that they spent the time making the kind of deep noises that you hear in love-making sessions.

Trying to get his father on his side, Marvin suggested that even though everybody else thinks they are wrong because of lengths of their hair,  nobody has yet been officially reconginsed as an authority to pass judgement on Marvin's ignorance. This was rubbished by his father who just continued to refuse to give an audible response to any of Marvin's statements.

There was not much progress on Marvin's knowledge levels or on the demonstrations. At one point, Marvin did offer to explain what exactly was happening, bringing relief to all the protestors. However, this joy was short-lived as immediately afterwards Marvin went back to his state of ignorance which eventually got him a top spot on the charts.