The generosity of a man is measured by how much good he gives and the strength of a man is measured by how much bad he can take
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Salsa in the Big Apple
You know the thing about NY style salsa dancers? They're always onto something!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Dirty Dancing
[She] You turn me on wiiiiilllld!
[Me] WHOA! WORSHIP ME SUCKERS!
[She] I said, you turn me on ONE, you fuckin idiot!
[Me] WHOA! WORSHIP ME SUCKERS!
[She] I said, you turn me on ONE, you fuckin idiot!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
If God was a DJ
Unedited text messaging thread
[Unknown Number] hey swatha pls we wnt one song of JUSTIN BEIBER..
[Me] Why just one song, please have 2 JB songs!
[Unknown Number] oh thnk's!!
[Unknown Number] thnkx buddy vry vry thnx
[Me] Sorry to break your heart kid. But this is not radio indigo. You got the wrong number. But stay tuned. They will play it sooner or later
[Unknown Number] hey it's k.. the song is goin on..
[Unknown Number] hey pls one more sng of j.b pls... baby feat ludachris..
[Unknown Number] hey pls one more im requesting u...
[Me] Unfortunately, our servers have crashed and we lost all copies of JB songs. Also I just got fired. So you're gonna have to buy the album to listen to songs. Sry
[Unknown Number] k..wer cn i get the album songs..
[Me] You don't get it in India anymore. An official law has made the sale of JB albums illegal. You would probably need to immigrate to cambodia to get a copy
[Unknown Number] k..thnx...
[Unknown Number] hey pls one song of JB pls tht't enough for me...
[Me] I have just been caught by the Interpol and am in jail without access to our systems. I'm looking for someone to bail me out.
[Unknown Number] hey dnt joke..
[Unknown Number] hi wat hppnd?
[Me] Why just one song, please have 2 JB songs!
[Unknown Number] oh thnk's!!
[Unknown Number] thnkx buddy vry vry thnx
[Me] Sorry to break your heart kid. But this is not radio indigo. You got the wrong number. But stay tuned. They will play it sooner or later
[Unknown Number] hey it's k.. the song is goin on..
[Unknown Number] hey pls one more sng of j.b pls... baby feat ludachris..
[Unknown Number] hey pls one more im requesting u...
[Me] Unfortunately, our servers have crashed and we lost all copies of JB songs. Also I just got fired. So you're gonna have to buy the album to listen to songs. Sry
[Unknown Number] k..wer cn i get the album songs..
[Me] You don't get it in India anymore. An official law has made the sale of JB albums illegal. You would probably need to immigrate to cambodia to get a copy
[Unknown Number] k..thnx...
[Unknown Number] hey pls one song of JB pls tht't enough for me...
[Me] I have just been caught by the Interpol and am in jail without access to our systems. I'm looking for someone to bail me out.
[Unknown Number] hey dnt joke..
[Unknown Number] hi wat hppnd?
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Marvin Gaye reveals that he has absolutely no fuckin' idea as to what's happening around him
The stuff that's happening around the world has a sober Marvin Gaye absolutely dumb-founded
Muami, FL: Returning to his parent's home after a highly successful tour Marvin Gaye was shockingly surprised to realize that he has absolutely no idea as to what was going on around him.
News of Marvin's complete ignorance of things happening around him was first reported by his mother, to whom he kept opining that there were far too many of her crying. When his brother joined in to offer some insight into his condition, Marvin declared that there were far too many of him dying and suggested that a solution be found to bring some lovin' there today, a proposal which found favour with a lot many of his groupies.
Realising that neither his mother nor his brother were willing to sympathise with his ideas, he approached his father who responded with an absolute stony silence. Marvin was persistent in his urges to move from an escalation-war model to a let's-all-just-fuckin'-love-each-other model which he strongly believes can resolve one of the major problems faced by the world today - hate.
Protestors to Marvin's condition soon took to the streets holding demonstrations right outside his house using picket signs. A helpless Marvin tried to calm the crowd by offering peace talks instead of the treatment that was being meted out to him which he classified as being outright brutal punishment.
While someone tries to figure out what was going on, Marvin suggested that they spent the time making the kind of deep noises that you hear in love-making sessions.
Trying to get his father on his side, Marvin suggested that even though everybody else thinks they are wrong because of lengths of their hair, nobody has yet been officially reconginsed as an authority to pass judgement on Marvin's ignorance. This was rubbished by his father who just continued to refuse to give an audible response to any of Marvin's statements.
There was not much progress on Marvin's knowledge levels or on the demonstrations. At one point, Marvin did offer to explain what exactly was happening, bringing relief to all the protestors. However, this joy was short-lived as immediately afterwards Marvin went back to his state of ignorance which eventually got him a top spot on the charts.
News of Marvin's complete ignorance of things happening around him was first reported by his mother, to whom he kept opining that there were far too many of her crying. When his brother joined in to offer some insight into his condition, Marvin declared that there were far too many of him dying and suggested that a solution be found to bring some lovin' there today, a proposal which found favour with a lot many of his groupies.
Realising that neither his mother nor his brother were willing to sympathise with his ideas, he approached his father who responded with an absolute stony silence. Marvin was persistent in his urges to move from an escalation-war model to a let's-all-just-fuckin'-love-each-other model which he strongly believes can resolve one of the major problems faced by the world today - hate.
Protestors to Marvin's condition soon took to the streets holding demonstrations right outside his house using picket signs. A helpless Marvin tried to calm the crowd by offering peace talks instead of the treatment that was being meted out to him which he classified as being outright brutal punishment.
While someone tries to figure out what was going on, Marvin suggested that they spent the time making the kind of deep noises that you hear in love-making sessions.
Trying to get his father on his side, Marvin suggested that even though everybody else thinks they are wrong because of lengths of their hair, nobody has yet been officially reconginsed as an authority to pass judgement on Marvin's ignorance. This was rubbished by his father who just continued to refuse to give an audible response to any of Marvin's statements.
There was not much progress on Marvin's knowledge levels or on the demonstrations. At one point, Marvin did offer to explain what exactly was happening, bringing relief to all the protestors. However, this joy was short-lived as immediately afterwards Marvin went back to his state of ignorance which eventually got him a top spot on the charts.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Led Zeppelin bags major infrastructure contract for building highway corridoor connecting the Earth with Heaven
Led Zeppelin climbs the charts by building facilities to take people up there as well.
MYU YORK, MY: The longest and the most intensely battled auction in the history of the infrastructure business has finally come to an end yesterday, with the muti-national, award winning Led Zeppelin group bagging the prime contract for the multi-trillion dollar Earth-Heaven space corridoor project.
The project is the brain-child of the Divine Urbanisation Department who realised the benefits of linking Earth with Heaven based on the results of the centuries long study which clearly states that any substance which has emissive properties is fundamentally Gold; thus directly implying the benefits of having a direct access link with Heaven rather than using the current mode of transportation which is Death.
Critics opposed to the proposed plan have voiced many concerns including the possibility of complete lockdown of stores in Heaven. However, the detailed project plan of the DUD has reassured most government authorities and citizens about the need, reliability and profitability of the project.
Apart from the basic stairway connectivity, the project plan also involves installation of road-signs giving directions, road-side amusements such as singing song-birds in trees by brooks. Oral unlocking technology, used successfully by Ali Baba in the past, would be used for all transactions in Heaven to ensure that all travellers get what they want once they reach there.
When interviewing the public regarding the project, most citizens were of the opinion that once the project is completed, they would most definitely use the stairway to head out to Heaven, but would feel a strong sense of loss for having to leave Earth which has been home to them all their life.
Apart from the infrastructure plans, the project also involves the designing and development of a smoke emitting tree propelled transportation medium for transporting people to Heaven. A prototype of the design was unveiled to the public and has received much praise from all quarters. To make the journey more entertaining, karaoke sessions led by famous DJs would also be organised.
Since standing and travelling would not be allowed in the vehicles, once they get filled, new passengers would have to wait till the next day. The DUD would arrange for accomodation in their forest themed hotels along with tickets to stand up comedy shows for entertainment.
The infrastructure project is slated for commencement in May and the Queen is expected to perform the unveiling ceremony. At present there are two main inter-connected freeways being planned that would lead to the entry point to the new highway. The residents of certain localities have been forewarned of possible construction activities happening in their neighbourhood related to these freeways.
The marketing efforts of DUD have shown very good results. The theme song for the project has proved to be a huge hit with people from all walks of life humming the tunes. DUD has also managed to rope in the project lead of the Gold Conversion project to be part of the phase 1 of the project release.
All in all it looks like a rock solid deal for Led Zeppelin and should be enough to ensure that they don't roll away from their number one position on the charts in a long long time.
The project is the brain-child of the Divine Urbanisation Department who realised the benefits of linking Earth with Heaven based on the results of the centuries long study which clearly states that any substance which has emissive properties is fundamentally Gold; thus directly implying the benefits of having a direct access link with Heaven rather than using the current mode of transportation which is Death.
Critics opposed to the proposed plan have voiced many concerns including the possibility of complete lockdown of stores in Heaven. However, the detailed project plan of the DUD has reassured most government authorities and citizens about the need, reliability and profitability of the project.
Apart from the basic stairway connectivity, the project plan also involves installation of road-signs giving directions, road-side amusements such as singing song-birds in trees by brooks. Oral unlocking technology, used successfully by Ali Baba in the past, would be used for all transactions in Heaven to ensure that all travellers get what they want once they reach there.
When interviewing the public regarding the project, most citizens were of the opinion that once the project is completed, they would most definitely use the stairway to head out to Heaven, but would feel a strong sense of loss for having to leave Earth which has been home to them all their life.
Apart from the infrastructure plans, the project also involves the designing and development of a smoke emitting tree propelled transportation medium for transporting people to Heaven. A prototype of the design was unveiled to the public and has received much praise from all quarters. To make the journey more entertaining, karaoke sessions led by famous DJs would also be organised.
Since standing and travelling would not be allowed in the vehicles, once they get filled, new passengers would have to wait till the next day. The DUD would arrange for accomodation in their forest themed hotels along with tickets to stand up comedy shows for entertainment.
The infrastructure project is slated for commencement in May and the Queen is expected to perform the unveiling ceremony. At present there are two main inter-connected freeways being planned that would lead to the entry point to the new highway. The residents of certain localities have been forewarned of possible construction activities happening in their neighbourhood related to these freeways.
The marketing efforts of DUD have shown very good results. The theme song for the project has proved to be a huge hit with people from all walks of life humming the tunes. DUD has also managed to rope in the project lead of the Gold Conversion project to be part of the phase 1 of the project release.
All in all it looks like a rock solid deal for Led Zeppelin and should be enough to ensure that they don't roll away from their number one position on the charts in a long long time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)